However, I think there was a severe underestimation of the general populace of the town I live in. Those that don't study, work at the university teaching those of us that study or work for high powered law firms and property corporations and have migrated to the prettier northern suburbs- make up the "townie" proportion of where I live. And townies aren't the most pleasant calibre of person. Unfortunately giant servings of ribs slathered in barbeque sauce and the possibility of dripping cheese on anything edible is just the thing for the average townie.
Hence the introduction of my first typical customer... The "Rat-Tail"...
The "Rat-Tail"
I have seen more rat-tails (the sacred cousin of the mullet) enter the restaurant than any other stereotype of customer. Often they come in little families, the rat-tail clad kids, "Jayden's", "Brandon's", the "Skye's" of the world... obnoxious and rude, playing those new GameBoy things, stealing each others food, poking holes in their plastic kids cups so you have to make yet another excruciating trip back to the kitchen. The dad's usually have more impressive rat-tails and sport some kind of oversized tee-shirt with an old American basketball team symbol on the front and the mother's are usually drinking bourbon and coke... unless they're pregnant. They crack jokes that aren't funny and make you run around like crazy, often staggering their orders (any customers who read this: beware, staggering orders will make a waiter go wild), "Can I get some tomato sauce please?", when you return with the tomato sauce, "And can we have two kids cokes again.", when you return with the kids cokes "And I'll get another bourbon and coke." When you return with the bourbon and coke, "Oh and Kayleb will have another beer." The multiple trips, the absence of a tip and the general charm of these folk makes me avoid serving their tables at all costs, if possible.
The "Yuppie"
Generally late twenties to early thirties, the yuppies dress to the nines when they come out to dinner... usually they'll be on a double date and they rack up bills that rival my own fortnightly income. Having said that- chances of getting a tip are fifty/fifty and the men behave as though they capped off a lucrative property deal with three lines of cocaine and a bottle of whiskey, just prior to coming to dinner. Still... some of them are nice.
The Loner
Occaisionally we get people coming in by themselves. Sitting at the bar, this isn't a really big deal, we have a huge television which shows any kind of sport you could wish for and generally they get their social fix from any of our friendly barstaff. But there are a few wierd ones. One lady is renowned for coming in by herself and ordering the same meal everytime. It's as though she spends her life in a coma and randomly wakes up craving this dish because there is no consistensy to her visits. One time she rocked up at 11pm on a monday night, we actually had to unlock the door to let her in, we had all the chairs up, the lights on and the music off and she failed to recognise that we were closed, proceeded to shake her way over to the counter and stammer "Table for One Please." It broke me a little having to explain- twice- that the kitchen had actually packed everything away and it was physically impossible to cook anything at this hour.
Then there's the lady who came in by herself on her birthday and ate about as much as I would eat over the period of two days. I felt so bad for her I went to extra effort to write "Happy Birthday" on her desert and then came out with a candle on top ready to make her day and she was absent from the table- which only highlighted the fact that she was alone to the surrounding tables who had seen me excitedly preparing her surprise.
More on the way!
Found this awesome "Smurf-Rat" somewhere online.
No comments:
Post a Comment